They are what we’ve all been getting, and it seems like a roller coaster ride that hasn’t slowed down, since it took off in March. We can’t seem to get clear and consistent direction, and the plans seem to change every day. We are trying to understand the differences between rules versus guidelines, right versus wrong, necessary versus unnecessary protections etc. As soon as we think we understand, we hear something different and then need to adapt accordingly.
When things are so uncertain, what we often look for is clarity to help ease these feelings. This is the very thing that we can’t quite get right now. Clarity about how to get through this is further complicated as everyone is in such unique positions. You might be on the front lines directly working while balancing possible COVID-19 exposure with your family’s safety, an essential worker still reporting to your workplace each day, an individual who suddenly found themselves working from home, or someone trying your best to support your children through navigating the new way education is being delivered. Many people are desperate to be out of their homes, but are laid off. Some people feel they must report to work but are managing fears about safety. Many people are worried about bills, rent, mortgages or whether their business can adapt and survive. This crisis looks very different in each of these situations.
With all of these differences in circumstances, it seems its impossible to gain clarity about how to get through this.
One of the messages we have been given is that we are all in this together. But what does getting through this “together” mean, when we are all in such unique situations? We think getting through it together means doing the best that we can, with what our situation is, while acknowledging that there isn’t a one-way-works-for-all response.
It means:
Focusing on what is in your control. Often we get caught up on things we simply can’t change, for example, others choices. It is most helpful to shift our focus to what we can control, and our own choices. Sometimes we need to make choices that result in big changes. Other times focusing on what is in our control means practicing self-care or communicating how we are are feeling and what we need of others.
Remaining flexible as things evolve. When we shift our focus to what is within our control, we are able to be flexible with adjusting our plans, approaches, and choices as things continue to unfold.
Non-judgement. We need to be kind to ourselves. This is an unprecedented time. Know that it is okay to be feeling overwhelmed, scared, worried and lost about what to do. We also need to remember that our circumstances can’t be compared to others. What might seem like the wrong choice to us, might be a necessary choice for others. When possible, focus on generously assuming people will make considerate choices rather than acting recklessly, unless given reason to think otherwise.
Looking for the good. We can choose to focus on the negative about this situation (and there is undoubtedly lots of this), but what we are beginning to realize is that we can also choose to focus on what we are gaining through it. This might be a greater appreciation for: our family and friends, supporting local businesses, our schedule opening up, personal growth, a reset button on finding more balance in our lives, etc.
Remembering that this is temporary. Although this is all so overwhelming and we don’t know when it will end, we can feel confident that the choices we are making now are moving us through this, and there will be an end date. It will be yours consider, what you new normal includes and does not include.
Persisting through it. This is beginning to feel like a new normal. At first, most of us took the advice seriously and acted quickly to adjust our lives according to the recommendations. As time goes by, we can each began to flounder and lose steam. Try to anchor yourself in the choices that feel right in your situation, with a focus on longterm needs, versus immediate relief.
We are not alone in this. We are here for each other. We will get through this together, even though it will look differently for all of us. We will feel confused and overwhelmed along the way, but we will also learn to appreciate parts of our lives even more. We will grow stronger and more thoughtful, as individuals, families and communities.
Comments